ARGHARGHK;GARKL;GKL;RAWEKL;AWEFKL;AWEKL!!!!

I went for a walk tonight and still noticed that I have a bit of a gut and love handles, despite the fact that I've been eating really well. I know they're really small, that I'm probably viewing my body with the same degree of critical self-consciousness as a teenage girl, and it's absurd for me to suddenly care this much about my body, considering that eating Corn Pops, Fried Chicken and Ding-Dongs were much bigger priorities than being healthy for most of my life. However, I'm a perfectionist and hate the feeling of failing. Past diets I've been on (which have also been successful) took a ton of willpower (I recall my one indulgence the last time were vegetarian chicken nuggets with 7g of fat per serving, which I'd ration myself one serving a week) and I decided that was the reason I'd always eventually fall back into an unhealthy equilibrium. This time, I still eat a lot, but it's generally healthy stuff (apart from the cheese I have on many of my sandwiches). I even indulge in the occasional cookie. Perhaps I'm at the point where the marginal costs of abating fat are skyrocketing, or at least to the point that I'm going to have to exercise more willpower with food. However, I hate having to waste willpower on diet stuff when I'm trying to be productive school-wise, which also tends to be rather attenuating. Above all else, I'm afraid I'm in a scenario like that guy from Super-Size Me who got fat eating McDonald's over a mere month, and while he lost most of the weight he put on over the diet very quickly, it took him a really long time to lose that last 5-10 pounds. Since I've gotten "chubby" three times in life now (and have abated it 2.85 times or so, accounting for the 0.15 of annoying love handles I still have), I worry that I'm going to be stuck here for a really long time.

On the bright side, I'm still intending to wear tightish clothes which kind of flaunt my body (or at least don't hide it in bagginess, which I used to do) to the yearly meet-and-greets over the coming weeks, and the exercise part of this "new healthy lifestyle" continues to go really well. I'm still scrawny. but it is kind of fun feeling some muscle and definition in my arms, and it was an awesome feeling to effortlessly sprint through an orange street light 40 minutes into my run tonight, whereas a few months ago, I would have been sucking wind at that point, even after taking two rests in the jog. If only my goddamn gut would recognize all of this progress I've made (which I feel is the furthest of any of my three diets/lifestyle changes) and start responding!

Tumbleweed

The cyber-tumbleweed here won't last forever, but it's going to be a quiet two weeks as I gallivant across the continent visiting family and such. I kind of don't want to leave my boring, but settled routine at home, and am particularly concerned about the lack of diet control I'll have over the coming days (and there better be more than Burger Kings and $2.75 Pepsi in NYC for the ASAs anyways!). I've made really good progress this summer, to the point that a colleague told me that I "looked great" the other day (although, in fairness, she's one of those kind, complimentary souls who usually goes out of her way to say those sorts of things) . Further, this trip is a potential time-bomb for familial conflicts, so I hope I manage to step very gingerly and not detonate anything.

Anyways, as long as I do better than "ambivalent" in regards to how I feel about the time and expense of this trip afterwards, I'll be satisfied..

More Curious Market Signals

When I was at the GNC two days ago, investing an absolutely ludicrous amount of money in protein the other day, I was helped by a very nice man who gave me price discounts and gave me the good side of the deal when it was realized that the price of my super-expensive isolate blend was mislabeled. However, it was bizarre to get health advice from a guy working at a GNC that was at least seventy pounds overweight (nor was he muscular at all). Just like I'm sure Hooters screens their employees based on superficial characteristics, shouldn't GNC sort of be doing the same?

So, figuring I was done with ironic people in the health industry, I had an appointment with a personal trainer yesterday. Sure enough, the guy was friendly, but he had a definite gut too, nor was he all that muscular.

In both cases, the men in question seemed knowledgeable, and everything they said was in accordance with my own research, yet I still felt weird that these were the professionals in the field I ended up interacting with.

The whole thing reminds me of a chronically unemployed acquaintance of mine who responds "I'm a career counselor" whenever she's asked what she does, with an apparent obliviousness to the irony. Of course, I was oblivious to "ironic bodies" before these past two days...

Ironically Fitting

I don't really see the point of celebrating one's nation's birthday by setting off loud and crappy fireworks. Since the city in which I live already sprang for a spectacular public fireworks display, I can't see what's all that novel or smart about trying to do it on your own. Of course, it's not as though more serious things and people are getting blown up just as loudly and pointlessly under the name of America for the rest of the year...

21st Century Cyber-etiquette?

What do you do when an acquaintance that you can't stand sends you a Facebook friend request? (A real quote from this douche: "This guy I know who was exactly like me got into Bowdoin, because he was a skier, while I had to go to Colby, which is still an elite college." [obviously still jealous and bitter about it six years later -- Even Carlton Banks' dream school was Princeton; and even he wasn't nerdy and bourgeois enough to get all worked up over a place like Bowdoin.])

I'm not sure I'll be able to live with myself after announcing to all of my friends on Facebook that I'm actually "friends" with this dork. Yet, I suppose it's not a big deal, the guy hasn't done anything blatantly evil to me and it would be rude not to...*sigh*

Liberals are non-fun sometimes!

I had a lovely night having dinner with some friends tonight, when a nice roommate of my friend entered and mentioned that he just saw Knocked Up. I of course immediately rave about what a fantastically clever and hilarious movie it was, and he then acted all blase, and said "you know, I found it really offensive the way they treated men in the story as over-sexed slobs, the whole thing was so stereotypically gendered." Needless to say, this guy (friendly as he was) is some billionth-year English Ph.D. student, and another academic leftie that gets under my skin. Now, I'm quite left-wing myself, but have grown to despise much of the academic left, particularly in the humanities. Regardless, leave it up to one of those people to throw a damper on an edgy, but nonetheless clever movie. Just because all men are not like the oafs in the movie does not necessarily render them bad or unrealistic characters. News flash: lots of men are exactly like the characters in the movie to some degree, and that's what makes so many of the jokes resonant.

Granted, despite being a pretty left-wing, politically correct guy, I still find movies like Knocked Up (and tangentially related, racist jokes) funny because there's usually a kernel of truth to them, yet often such humor is more about mocking the stereotype (which may still be accurate in a demographic sense) than it is about exalting it. And there's no way the academic left is going to take the sense of humor away from this philistine.

Triumphs of willpower!

After a particularly intense workout today, I went to the cafe to get a delicious protein shake, yet after I left to drink it, I had a hunch that they forgot to put the protein in it. So, since I'm an epicure who is always hungry, I stop by the corner store, still craving something salty and beefy to get my protein fix for my quivering muscles. Sure enough, I find a Slim Jim Beef Steak in no time, and while the nutritional info wasn't on the package, I think I remember seeing a similar product with info on it, and think to myself "actually, I think these only have like 8g of fat, and have lots of protein." Yet, as I approach the cashier, I also remember reading that beef jerky (which in fairness, isn't necessarily the same thing as a "Beef Steak") is just about the most fattening, unhealthy food there is. So, I recoil in horror and put the beef steak down, and run out of the store before I can pay for it and consume it, leaving a hilariously puzzled look on the face of the cashier, who had seen me wait in line for two minutes just to do that.

Even if the product was nutritionally "non-awful", it's still nice to be fighting the war on calorie consumption somewhat successfully!

I hope my credit is good....

Dear Body,

If I promise to keep working-out assiduously for the next six months, can you just get rid of all of the fat I'm still lugging around (painfully when I jog up big hills) and give me an advance on all of the muscle I'm going to build? Life is short, and digging myself out of the physical mess I've brought upon myself is taking too long for my impatient impulses. Thanks!!

Portentous Things

While I was jogging tonight, I kind of got lost and ended up in a quasi-rural arra, where I enjoyed the quaint scenery, which was augmented by a family of deer galloping beside me. Usually when you run into deer, they just look at you sort of perplexed and indifferent, but in this case, these deer were really hauling ass, so to speak. Then, it occurred to me that these deer may have been sprinting away from a predator behind them, and I am a much slower and chubbier alternative to the usual venison meals bears and wildcats usually settle for. Since I am much slower than any of the potential predators involved (and I was already sucking wind from the jog), all I could do was hope that there wasn't a hungry predator lurking behind, because there was no way I could out-run it.

It was a disconcerting 120 seconds or so before the (possibly paranoid) thought was put to rest in my mind....

The Silent Treatment

About four weeks ago, a friend of mine was (at least in my opinion) really rude to me on AIM over a silly debate we were having, and did the online equivalent of "storming off", saying "bye" and then abruptly logging off. I was ticked off at the time, so I put her on invisible/block and when I ran into her at school the next day, when she mustered a very weak "hey...", I just ignored her, as unless the first words out of her mouth were "I'm sorry", since she cut off the conversation, she's the one who has to take responsibility for restarting it. I've run into her maybe twice since then, and ignore her weak salutations. I realize it's a power play on my part, but I do want her taking responsibility here.

I was convinced that things were going to get patched up much faster than this, and things have escalated to the point that when I ran into her in a group at a party tonight, I made a point of saying hello to everyone except her, a behavior I typically only reserve for the stupid cunt. Only this time I feel sort of rueful/remorseful about it. I suppose it's another one of those tit-for-tat equilibria, where I feel that she's responsible for causing this mess in the first place and not apologizing on her own, but I'm probably being overly stubborn and combative, and I could try to be the "bigger person" and fix things up.

Yet, my gut tells me to dig my heels in in the interests of self-respect and all that. Of course, I now wonder if I'm more of a vindictive and/or stubborn person than I am a "good" one...

A tightrope that cannot be walked?

Recent discouraging events have rendered me a bit lonely (this is not to imply that I've lived like a hermit or have had nothing to do, I just haven't had any contact with anybody I like at a non-superficial level for a while), so I emailed a (female) friend of mine to get together, because we have a really good relationship, and I really want us to be friends. She's always fun to be around, and I think we do a good job of brightening each other's days. Of course, I'm pretty sure she wants more out of me than just a friendship (she responded pretty much immediately with "Wow, I'm so glad you wrote me!", etc.), which is a sentiment I don't think I can reciprocate at this point, if ever. My egalitarian views posit that two people of the opposite sex should be able to interact and enjoy each other's company without sexual tension, and that the lack of romantic interest should be irrelevant to the friendship, and who each person is. While I'm really happy to be seeing her on Tuesday, I'm feeling a bit guilty because everything I suggest that we do (walk/dinner/movie) sounds so "date-like", and I think I might be setting her up for disappointment (and if I do disappoint her, I hope she'll forgive me and still be my friend).

On the other hand, having this looming quasi-relationship is good motivation for me to find someone else that meets my picky standards in a hurry, before I get desperate and date this one, even though my brain, ego and principles tell me it's a bad idea...

Really Stupid Thought of the Day

"Is my iPod heavier (even by just a little bit) once I've filled it up with songs?"

Worse than Professional Boxing

Wow. This whole Landis-LeMond scenario transcends fucked-up-ness.

Anticipation is better than...?

In a hell-freezes-over-esque development, I am slated to have something of a date tomorrow. I don't know her all that well, but our chance encounters around campus over the past six months have always gone well, and my intuition has screamed to me that this one is worth pursuing (or was it just screaming that I'm desperate?). Since she was out of town since I had the good fortune of running into her, and locating the gumption to suggest we get coffee someday, I've been anticipating tomorrow for over a week. Frankly, it's been a pretty good week, as I resolved to start taking better care of myself and just the notion that there might be hope for me in the romance department was sufficient to really buoy me emotionally. Hope alone is really awesome and precious to me (after having none for so long), I'm slightly terrified of what will happen if things don't go well tomorrow. Hope alone was something powerful and tangible to me, and I don't want to lose it. I think I'm a strong person, but screwing this up might mangle my achilles heel. Of course, I hope it doesn't come to that, but I also find it a bit disconcerting that a small date-esque meeting has the power to do this to me. Shouldn't I be stronger, or at least have the ability to generate this sort of scenario more than once every 1.5 years or so?

Regardless, I bought a really cool new shirt for the occasion. I hope the rest of me lives up to her, and my cool new shirt!

Gasping for everything

So, while stepping out of the shower the other day, I realized that my penchant for junk food and for taking the bus over walking to work has rendered my appearance rather akin to the Stay Puft Marshmallow man. For a variety of reasons, I've decided that I have to do something about it, so I started jogging (and soon, I'll start lifting weights too). This is the part of the rationality trap where despite being horribly incompetent and not doing all that much, physical activity is agonizing wile undertaking, and then painful afterwards. It's kind of fun to feel all sore and cozy in my easy chair at night, and feel like I'm accomplishing something with my body. However, I hope I can keep this up, and lose my penchant for getting Twix bars and half-moon cookies throughout the day. The positive thing about the pain is that it increases the perceived costs of taking in those fat-laden calories, which thus makes resisting them more easily...

If only I could be this enamored with everyone I meet....

While I was walking around the neighborhood, waiting for my laundry to finish, I met an eleven-week old Chocolate Labrador puppy. He was so cute that it was jarring to see him as my eyes wandered aimlessly around half-braindead as I was going on my walk. The puppy was teething, so he was chewing on a stick while happily rolling around in the fresh spring grass. He let and his owner let me pet him, and then a whiny Pug came by, and started to cower when the Lab happily pounced on him with his disproportionately big paws.

Anyhow, now I really want a Chocolate Labrador puppy, although like is the case with kids, as much as I'm sure I'd love them, I'm not sure I want them 24/7/365. I'm still scared of big commitments like that. Further, I figure that buying a purebreed is decadent and bourgeois. There are lots of mutts out there in the world that are beautiful as well, and aren't being bred for profit, and are facing euthanasia. Further, mutts are less likely to come with expensive hip surgery bills. Despite all this, I still want a Chocolate Lab now! What is it with me and being unable to resist chocolate, whether it's located in a vending machine, or in the breed of a dog?

More Disconcerting Adventures with Demography and Marketing

Being someone who watches more than his share of ESPN nightly, I've noticed that seemingly second commercial has to do with dating, hair loss or weight loss. These are presumably things that the mostly male population watching ESPN is in urgent need of dealing with. In particular, those Nutri-System commercials with Dan Marino totally crack me up in particular (Sean Salisbury claiming that "chicks dig him"? How dumb do marketers think straight males are?).

It's funny that if these products and services succeed in getting pathetic single men "back in the game", they won't be watching ESPN (particularly on times like Friday and Saturday night) anymore, thus harming ratings. If they work (and that's a big if), ESPN is allowing a trojan horse of sorts to infiltrate it, and possibly take away their most valued clientele.

A random pet peeve

I hate it when you're walking outside, and you're trailing someone smoking a cigarette from anywhere from one to a hundred feet ahead of you, and you can taste and feel the second-hand smoke ravaging your lungs. You either have to run ahead of them, or freeze and wait for them to be at least the length of a football field away. I loathe smoking, and think these people who pollute my air and lungs in my personal space should get the death penalty for it. In a way, they do, but it's a rather delayed death...

Oh, and in an unrelated note, if only all cable access shows turned out to be this hilarious.

The Third Barrel

So, I can't sleep right now, most likely due to the Twix bars I consumed at dinner time tonight (it's unfair that something can something be so good at the time, yet be so bad on a longer time horizon), which got my mind racing about a life lesson I kind of learned playing poker last week.

I was playing my usual tight-conservative style, before picking up JTo in the BB, a few callers enter the pot, and I check, bringing a Q86 rainbow flop, leaving me with a gutshot (any nine that comes on subsequent streets improves my hand to a straight, which likely would win), but not much else, thus rendering my hand fairly weak (I'd guesstimate a 7-to-1 underdog to win at showdown). I check, and then the final caller who was the huge chip leader at the time stabs at the pot with a modest bet. I decide that he's trying to steal the pot (betting with nothing) and then put in a stiff raise and everyone folds (check-raising is usually a fearsome sign of strength in no-limit hold'em), but the initial caller fearlessly calls.

Now, being a conservative-type person in some ways (especially monetary ones), I'm usually inclined to give up in the face of a player unwilling to fold to a stiff check-raise, yet when the turn came a meaningless 3, I had this weird out-of-body experience. I decided I wasn't going to give up and I fired the second barrel, another stiff bet into the pot, which garnered an immediate call much to my chagrin.

Realizing that I've already bet about 60% of my stack in a hand where I had absolutely nothing, undoing the past two hours of careful, disciplined play, I'm in slight shock as the river is an ace. While my mind is stunned that I played so out of my character and best judgment, I also realize that the ace is a good card for me, in that it might scare my opponent into folding. Further, I'm kind of too puzzled by my behavior to be nervous or stop now. So, I fire the third barrel and push in the rest of my chips with jack-high, and much to my amazement, my opponent folds a paired queen, despite the fact that he was getting about 3-to-1 pot odds to make the call on the river, and had a very healthy chip-stack.

So, I showed the bluff, which was a lot of fun (well, not quite as fun as bluffing one of the poker dorks) not to rankle my opponent, but because everybody was so surprised that I had the guts to play like that and it contributed to everyone's entertainment for the night. I ended up winning the tournament (which luck of course played a substantial part in), but it wasn't until last night when I realized how profound that three-barrel bluff was. Although my behavior was like an out of body experience, and I still can't understand what willed me to play in such a manner and why, I also learned that doing something out of my character and narrow rationality worked. Further, my initial action and premise was totally wrong, as I only check-raised because I thought my opponent was stealing (in fact, the opposite was true - he had top pair!), yet it worked out very well in the end.

The moral of the story is that doing something different, stupid and/or risky might just be for the best if you stick with it. One might find rewards and dimensions of your personality that you didn't know existed. Yes, I'm talking vaguely because I'm not sure how I'm going to enact these principles in my "real life" next. I'm working on it, though...

Kids are funnier than adults

At poker night tonight, my friend regaled me with a recent tale of his very adorable mature five-year-old, who is a quintissential first-born in that she already savors responsibility and maturity. After being taught how to make music by blowing into a beer bottle, being bored by the cartoons that was being used to babysit the children at the "grown-ups party", she began to stroll around and tell the adults proudly "look at me! I'm sixteen [an very old "grown-up" age to her] and drinking beer!"

Her two-year-old little sister then chimed in excitedly, "me too!!!"

Their parents were amused, but surprised that they were having to deal with this issue so soon...

A Strange Demographic

In a campus parking lot today, I noticed a peachy-fluorescent orange Subaru pickup truck with grey accents. I have no clue what type of a person would buy such a thing. I'm not a marketing genius, but I do know that most American pickup truck buyers don't opt for foreign-made trucks in such absurdly sissy colors.

My New Best Friend?

A friend of mine was kind enough to overlook the most recent draft of a paper that's gone through the review process a few times, and gave me very positive feedback (which I think was sincere, as I think he would have protected me if I had written garbage), and said "You were writing really clearly at the end. I can tell you were pissed off at those reviewers and wanted to shove it down their throats." I'm not sure if "pissed off" is the right word, but I did feel "frantically antagonistic" towards the sentiment that the article might not be published and my sunk cost would be wasted just because of a prickly (and in my opinion, unfair) reviewer.

In a somewhat related development, a couple of colleagues have started acting slightly frosty towards me lately, which is strange, given that I always had a good rapport with them before and used to have great relationships with them both. As I was hoping to access a pittance of social capital via one of them, I figured I'd check to see if things were okay before asking. I did some discreet digging and found out that they're closing ranks in their feminine passive-aggressive manner around the infamous stupid cunt that is the one person on Earth I harbor negative sentiments towards. The whole thing upset me because I basically act like Ned Flanders (well, a less religious and more introverted one) around everybody and go out of my way to be polite and respectful of everyone (I'm a first-born, I want everybody to like me!) and in the one situation that I choose to stick up for myself, I take flak for it (while the stupid cunt gets protected despite being selfish and vapid, even by the admission of the two women being frosty to me).

Anyhow, I am somewhat angry about this, both because I think it's unfair, and I can't fathom how these women can actually believe I'm a bad person all of a sudden. However, it's a good anger, because it's localized and not all that intense. Thus, it is perfect for sublimating into more productive and happy endeavors. Tomorrow, I begin taking it out on my ideas and writing. I have a hunch this will fuel some productive and innovative thinking. The happy-go-lucky-lefty-collectivist sociologist has now been joined by the ruthless, competitive beast that lurks within me. I'll see how long the beast wants to come out and play.

OMG!!!

The simulcast of the women's NCAA basketball championship on ESPN2 is the weirdest thing I've seen on TV in ages. While you get the "traditional" coverage on ESPN, ESPN2 has a screen split six different ways (in addition to a score-ticker). One screen covers about 55% of the screen and gives you the typical camera angle for a sporting event. Meanwhile, four screens which are about 10% fo the screen each remain fixated on the coaches for each team, and the star player on each team. The remaining space goes alternates between showing statistics and instant replays. Accordingly, the viewer is bombarded with six moving screens at once, usually containing different stimuli. Perhaps I'm a bit set in my ways, and I'm too old to be a part of the ADD-ridden technology-obsessed Millennial generation, but I can't help but to think this is another one of those instances where something innovative isn't necessarily a good idea (also see: those silly glowing pucks FOX came up with for the NHL in the 1990s).

Cuteness Overload.

...If it wasn't for the fact that they grow to be over 2,000 pounds and summers would probably be brutal, polar bears would be an excellent candidate for a new species to domesticate!

No, I'm not hooked, but maybe these are gateway drugs

While my nasty cough has subsided, it hasn't gone away entirely. However, as I type away in a slightly high and dizzy state right now, I'm thinking about how much I'm going to miss taking NyQuil* before bed. It makes me so perfectly sleepy and cozy, I always end up getting a good night's sleep, despite my propensity to cough and toss and turn. As someone who has struggled with insomnia my entire life, finding a reliable sleep aide is a big deal.

*After plunking down way too much money on cough syrup and other remedies, I noticed that the generic DayQuil and NyQuil were ~60% less expensive than their name-brand counterparts (so I'm not technically taking NyQuil). [sarcasm] I, of course, am shocked that the U.S. pharmaceutical industry would gouge the sick and suffering [/sarcasm].

Actually Useful Research from Academia

Current drug laws are 'arbitrary' in nature and the typically condoned vices of alcohol and tobacco are among the most harmful. I kind of knew this already, but I found it especially jarring to read that tobacco is responsible for 40% of hospital visits and alcohol is responsible for almost half of emergency room visits. Meanwhile, acid and E users just stare up at the pretty colors...

Cough abatement is a lousy hobby

I've come down with a nasty cough that I can't seem to shake. Although I recently finally managed to get my circadian rhythm aligned in a somewhat normal fashion (even despite the daylight savings switch), it's been ruined by a couple of awful nights tossing and turning in bed and coughing. The only thing that seems to quell the coughing is going to sleep with a Halls in my mouth. However, Halls are full of sugar, and I can feel them corroding my teeth, and thus it's not something I want in bed all night. Further, I'm paranoid that I'm going to choke on one as if I'm fortunate enough fall asleep. I've also tried the sugar-free Ricola, but they have no real "bite" as medicine. I wasn't planning on being sick for a while, but I might have to become a connoisseur of the cough-losenge inudstry in the near future. I'm looking for something uber-potent, yet sugar free...

In the last four hours I've chugged half a bottle of Robitussin and Robitussin Nighttime respectively (which would make for an entire bottle in total), in addition to four DayQuils and Four NyQuils (on opposite poles of the four hours of course), yet I'm still coughing. This cough is annoying enough that I''m resolving to become Howard Hughes-esque in my germ prevention in the near future, so I don't get sick ever again. On the bright side, I just began to feel a nice high from the cough syrup....

Hmmmm

Had a fun night watching NCAA tournament games with a couple friends. Amid the chit-chat, I started to gripe that China got the 2008 Olympics, despite its record of human rights abuses, and general awfulness. My friend responded "yeah, I guess you're right, but as an American, I really feel hypocritical calling anybody out on moral issues, given the things we're doing all over the world right now." It's a shame, but he has a point....

Worse than having your fly open in public, but less conspicious

So, I was walking home today, and noticed what felt like my sock becoming "extra raggedy." I look down to investigate, and I notice a pair of boxer shorts in the pant leg. Apparently, after I took my jeans out, I managed to put them on without noticing my boxer shorts becoming wedged against my sock and leg. I guess this happened with stuff mixing up with static electricity in my laundry hamper, and persisted because I have horrible sensory abilities and don't notice these things until it's too late. While this incident was funny and innocuous, I do worry that these sorts of faux pas might occur in a more sensitive/problematic scenario some day.

Is Stupid Advertising False Advertising?

The latest Gatorade commercial tries to entrench the profoundly embedded history of the product in athletic culture. It emphasizes that the product was synthesized because the Florida Gators' performance was suffering because they were dehydrated in the Florida heat. While that is true, aren't the teams that were beating Florida at the time playing under those conditions as well? It's not as if they got to play in a climate-controlled dome while the Florida players wilted...

Adventures in Market Signaling

Over the weekend, it appears that I may have managed to impress a pretty non-sociologist love interest. Of course, this was the result of a fun, platonic acquaintanceship we've had for a few months. While on the surface, this seems to be serendipitous and fantastic, there's a small problem. Her ex-boyfriend is a total scumbag who is reviled by pretty much all of the women in my department for his lecherous chauvinism. He's the type of guy who women with low self-esteem and/or mental issues gravitate towards (incidentally, he had a one-night-stand a couple years ago with the aforementioned stupid cunt). I was always puzzled in regards to why this really cool chick would be attracted to and want to invest in someone so shady. In turn, I have a hunch that her recent interest in me was propagated by the demise of their relationship.

Given the inbreeding in social circles, and that she was so recently linked with the "scumbag" recently, my worries about STD's and just the notion that this woman's decisions may be indicative to qualities "beneath the surface" that I should be very wary of, this unfortunately isn't something I think I can pursue.

On the other hand, I am reminded of Jerry's diatribe on the Seinfeld episode that spoofed their negotiations with NBC, where George's crazy ego compelled him to decline an offer that he should have eagerly and gratefully accepted (and I'm paraphrasing of course), "We have nothing and no other offers! You're insane not to take this deal!"

The Axis of Evil

Israel and Iran edged out the United States for the ignominious distinction of being the country with the largest perception of "negative influence" in the world. However, even North Korea doesn't have as bad as a perception (or at least the degree of belief in "negative influence" as the Yankees do right now.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6421597.stm?ls

This administration is so bad it continues to astound me repeatedly, even when I think I've become numb to its evil incompetence. I hope Bush Jr. and his legacy are vilified a million times worse than the benign Jimmy Carter's.

The Last Great Music Video

Thinking about how ancient I've suddenly become, I was wondering why I don't get into more new music these days. I don't have a radio, and since there aren't videos on MTV anymore, it's really tricky for me to be exposed to new bands now. I do attend a bar where the uber-hip DJ plays what sounds like modern indie rock, which I always enjoy, but never know the artists, albums or songs being played. I guess I haven't plugged into the MySpace networks that I presume most fringe artists use to promote and diffuse their work now.

I was thinking that the last "new" band that I got exposed to and enjoyed was Queens of the Stone Age. While their Songs for the Deaf album was hugely overhyped, it did produce what I think was the last great high budget music video entitled "Go with the Flow." With an awesome, rockin' song and psychadelic vivid, burning colors, this video oozes sex, drugs and rock and roll like few artistic works ever have.

Patience Monty, Climb the ladder...

I'm slightly stuck with my dissertation right now. I'm not hugely concerned at this point, since this was the first day that I realized I was stuck. I suppose a logical antidote might be to talk to one's advisor, but my current stalemate is largely due to an excellent two hour session with the advisor, where I as presented with difficult, but pressing questions I need to resolve before progerssing further. However, I'm keen to get to work and start knocking stuff off, yet my brain has yet to provide clear answers or plans of action in regards to how to deal with the stalemate.

Perhaps I should just start drinking at 10AM tomorrow and write Friday off, and let my subconscious sort things out?

Satisficing for Success

Today, I had the rare fortunate break of running into an attractive (presumably single) woman that I met at a party last weekend. On the campus of a large research university, the opportunity to have iterated social encounters with anyone outside of your department and still on the "acquaintance" level is really difficult. Grateful for the opportunity, I of course tried my hardest to convey my personality and friendliness as best I could. Of course, I probably was trying a bit too hard, as I began to stutter as my mind worked feverishly to improve every thought I was expressing, trying to make it funnier, more vivid, more creative and so forth. All of the quality control on the fly ended up harming, as opposed to helping things. On the bright side, there was a subtle market signal that the woman might be a head-case, so perhaps screwing up isn't the end of the world with this one.

The moral of the story seems to be that if you really want something, you have to convince yourself that you don't really want it so you can act accordingly. Unfortunately, the emotions of humans tend to be imperfectly and partially controlled by the rational mind. So, you get stuck with feelings and dispositions you don't really want...

You don't need rock & roll to 'rock'

I went to a violin concert the other day by some virtuouso (my friend is a classical musician, so she told me how incredible the opportunity to watch this person play, so I took her word for it), and was totally blown away. First, I kind of giggled at the notion that someone as uncultured as me (I think the Pixies were the highest-brow band I ever listened to) partaking in classical music, but as it turns out, the concert involved all of the intensity and passion of any rock concert, with even more astounding virtuosity that even the likes of Eddie Van Halen brought to the masses. The performance was absolutely vicious with her violin, yet the sounds were mellifluous and flowing. As my friend mentioned during the encore "it's so ironic that something that sounds so cheerful and fast is so painfully difficult to play." Now, apparently she's making me a CD to explore if this classical music thing is something I'll really get hooked on. I'm horribly unhip and have stopped listening to music in the early 21st Century, so perhaps I need to look back a couple of centuries to get some fresh melodies flowing in my head....

The Golden Age is Over

As a devoted youtube user, I've noticed that many of my favorite clips (mostly bootlegs of rock bands that I enjoy) are no longer available. The same goes for the much beloved cache of Beavis and Butthead episodes that were wonderful diversions in the middle of otherwise productive days for myself and colleagues alike (MTV manages to retroactively suck by taking out B & B and music/concert programming from when it was actually occasionally good). In a huge oversimplification, I will simply state that the profit motive managed to appropriate this wonderful public resource, and now via Google video, I now have to purchase those formerly free episodes for $1.99 (my beloved clip of the Pixies appearance on 120 Minutes has yet to be catalogued and priced, I suppose).

Anyhow, this is all turning out like Napster did. There was this golden age where you could find just about anything and everything your heart desired, no matter how obscure. Alas, I guess one does not get money for nothing and clips for free in the 2000's. *sigh*

As a consolation, enjoy this fantastic R.E.M. performance on Letterman in the early 1980's that CBS hasn't gotten its grubby hands on yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA57Pafq_NU

Going 'Deflem' on Fuchs-Epstein

Sociologists embarrass me sometimes. I just received a pretentious letter from past ASA president Cynthia Fuchs-Epstein personally inviting me to spend more than a quarter of my yearly stipend for what appears to be an utterly pointless and self-congratulatory quasi-"public sociology" endeavor to India in the middle of the upcoming November.

This wouldn't be so irksome if the form letter wasn't littered with bullshit intended to make the recipient feel special. The letter writes "Invitations for this project are being sent only to select members of the American Sociological Association" and "I believe you would contribute valued expertise to the mission[.]" Considering I've never met Ms. Fuchs-Epstein in my life, and I have nary a publication in my young career for her to know me from (further, little does she know that I have no "expertise"), this strikes me as a bit insincere. Somehow I think having a pulse and/or being on the ASA mailing list were the lofty benchmarks chosen to help select the fortunate "chosen invites." The "Immediate Past President" may be mad with power and going wild with the ASA mailing list.

Better yet, the letter promises forthcoming missives with additional sign-up information (does signing up for ASA membership entitle you to this kind of wonderful unsolicited sociological junkmail? I'm so glad I checked whatever the relevant box was that ensured I received stuff like this). Needless to say, I'm going to save the 39 cents on the stamp to mail my RSVP that I will regretfully decline participation on this trip.

However, if I had $4995.00 plus bus fare to Newark, NJ, I'd be much more inclined to donate that money directly to the many poor people in India than use it to help bad sociology diffuse between the upper-middle-classes in both societies.

AutoComplete is Evil

Internet Explorer has a well-meaning feature called Auto-Complete that summons similar words and phrases you've recently typed, with the idea that it might save you a few seconds of time by letting you scroll down, hit return and get the entire phrase. However, it has the unintended consequence of immortalizing things you've typed that you'd rather not see again, and I'm not just talking about the time that I accidentally typed in an incorrect email address, which then became my "default" every time I typed in the first few letters of my login. I'm not even thinking of the time that I saw "Anna Nicole Smith naked" on my Uncle's laptop when I was visiting last year and Googling something starting with 'A.'

Today, as I was googling something starting with 's' on one of the communal grad student computers today, AutoCorrect brought up the usual suspects (and I'm paraphrasing here), and then something scandalous and/or disconcerting.

sociology survey research
sociology survey gender research
sociology survey campus attitudes
std test

After cringing and feeling a bit uncomfortable to have seen that, I couldn't resist speculating as to who would be googling 'std test' in my department. Based on the other terms on the AutoCorrect (which certainly could have been written by anyone, although I think the AutoCorrect on those computers gets cleared regularly), I'm pretty sure that it's one of the female "gender conformists" in my department (well, a specific one of them). I'm no expert when it comes to people, love or relationships, but I have a hunch that if you aren't responsible enough to do "better than frat boy" with casual intimate relationships (or at least invest a few bucks in some Trojans), you're also prone to be googling 'std test' on public computers. I hope it was an "innocuous googling", and I can't be totally sure the person I think queried it is who I think it is. Regardless, I didn't think graduate students were the type of people that have to learn with backwards induction based on experience with these types of things...

No, I'm not dead...

....I've just lived an especially boring life lately. I'll be chock-full of scintillating content soon. Until then, visit Jeremy's blog for scandalous blog content.

Fair Trade

I will gladly take the cold of winter (and the concomitant colds it's brought upon myself and many of my colleagues and neighbors), in exchange for not being woken up at 6AM by birds doing loud mating calls, thinking it's spring already, as was occurring before the cold snap hit the continent. Further, getting somewhere between a quarter and a half of winter (depending on how long the cold snap last) is a reassuring omen that global warming might take an extra few years before really messing up the world's ecosystem.

Places You Don't Want to Be

A colleague of mine set up a "working group" on a topic germane to my dissertation. This fellow is question is pleasant enough, but is one of those "massive try-hard" types that are always desperately trying to come across as "intellectual." He also decided that he'd circumscribe invites to this working group so only four people showed up (two of which being half-interested faculty who had to leave early), and thus I couldn't skip out on it with a clear conscience, since I've been hounded about this all-important working group for months, although I would have much rather had those two hours to actually do work today. To compound the pointless of the scenario, the ringleader in question decided he'd present work that I had seen presented twice before (as had two of the other three attendees, since they were on his M.A. committee when he wrote this paper). One of my many personality flaws is that I don't do a good job of concealing my emotions. I do my best to be extremely polite, but my face can never lie, and I felt myself slipping and staring at the window in agitated boredom, and I stopped listening or contributing to the dialogue (which was bad, since there were only three people, including the presenter, in the room by them). I knew it was rude, but I guess I'm a weak man at times...

Afterwards, stressed out from two hours of impulse control of having to sit in a room with boring conversations (which I knew was going to be boring and pointless before hand, which made me angry, since I'm roped in with this annoying colleague, and his selfishness/obliviousness led him to create this stupid working group in the first place), I ended up having a massive binge at the downstairs vending machine. I got some sort of Cherry Blasters-esque product, some disgusting plain potato chips (which I still finished 90% of) and a Rice Krispie Square. I guess being an adult (especially a graduate student) is all about having tons of freedom with your time and such, so part of the reason why I felt so irritated is that I was obliged to waste my afternoon doing something I had no desire to do (incidentally, this was the biggest reason why I loathed going to Church as a kid).

Worst of all, I got guilt-tripped into giving a presentation to this stupid group, despite the fact that two of my committee members (50% of the membership) will be reading that presentation as a part of my prospectus at the exact same time. Despite this fact, it was the only alternative for "keeping the group going", and I couldn't squelch any well-meaning academic/collegial endeavor in front of people who will one day write me reference letters.

Much like a wild animal rendered defenseless after years of captivity, I wonder if academia has turned me soft. Most working people have to endure far worse indiginities, impulse control and overall boring-ness in their jobs, and I bet they handle it better than I do at this stage of my life. I thought those ten/twelve hour shifts dishwashing as an undergraduate would make every subsequent job or endeavor I had in life seem wonderful. Perhaps that's worn off...

"Authoritarian Niceness"

I was held captive in one of those three-hour brainstorming sessions for the student government today that was chaired by an external facilitator that somebody sprang for. It was relatively bearable, but it made me think of an old column by a hilariously chauvanistic and cantankerous male columnist for the New York Post-esque paper in my old home town, worrying that the world had been "wussied up" because arbitrators were being replaced by touchy-feely feminine facilitators. Chauvinism aside, I'm not sure there's much of a difference. Facilitators still boss you around, but do so in much more verbose ways with a rhetoric of wide-eyed openness (e.g., "Okay, so you are all going to explore and brainstorm in the small groups we will assemble, and you will not laugh or snicker at any idea if it is too fanciful and unrealistic, and when the prescribed time period has elapsed, we will reconvene and list all of the ideas that we, collectively, as a group have decided are of greatest importance). I suppose it gives people warm feelings inside to be talked to like they're in preschool again, but the message and directives are the same, regardless of the cultural frames that transmit them.

So, my point is that I'm not sure I totally buy Gilligan's (in)famous dichotomy between "male justice" and "female feeling." Hierarchical directives can be implemented through a "feminine frame", just as kindness and altruism can be filtered through a "stoic male frame." In other words, the medium is not the message.

Tarnishing the Golden Boy

Anybody who needs a rooting interest in tomorrow's big game might consider that uber-telegenic corporate shill and Colts QB Peyton Manning has a bit of a checkered past with dealing with women. While he was at the University of Tennessee, a female trainer for the football team successfully sued the university, as Peyton had sexually harrassed her. Later, Manning tried to explain his actions by saying the woman in question had a "vulgar mouth." Once again, this propagated a lawsuit that Manning quickly threw money at to disappear. Apparently, This female trainer is more of a bugaboo to Peyton than the Florida Gators ever were! Of course, his agents and ESPN worked it out so this "scandal" would be swept under the rug, because all would benefit from having a marketable "golden boy" like Peyton.

I realize it's an uphill battle, but I'm cheering for Chicago tomorrow. Hey, if Trent Dilfer can win a Super Bowl, so can Rex Grossman!

Defusing the Dramabomb

Today, I was asked by a colleague/acquaintance whom I'm on good terms with to "pitch in" and help create a "care package" for a mortal enemy of mine (frankly, the only mortal enemy I have), who is going through tough times right now and cannot return to campus yet. Either the colleague is unaware of the enmity I feel towards the stupid cunt in question (which would be surprising, given her propensity for gossiping and melodramatic whining if she perceives somebody doesn't "like" her). However, being the kind and diplomatic soul I am, I managed to "talk nice" without committing anything, even though the vindictive side of me wants to bash the stupid cunt. Sometimes I wonder if being a product of a family of divorce has rendered me conflict-averse, although I am capable of standing up for myself when I need to. I suppose it's only relative. I guess part of being human is the ability to defuse antagonisms preemptively, and whether the short-term costs of arguing are compensated with long-term benefits (be it an improved relationship, or at least self-respect for standing up for yourself). I am not totally sure whether I perceive and weight these costs and benefits properly, although as always, these considerations tend to be context-dependent.

The Road to Anomie and Jadedness is fun!

The new computer came in the mail today. UPS gives people notice that they can expect their packages between 9AM and 7PM, which is lovely, since most people work or go to school during these hours. When the package didn't come by 2:30, I debated cutting my class, but since it's statistics, and missing one class might destroy a semester's worth of sequential learning (and I'm not intellectually gifted enough in that realm to compensate if I did miss it), I decided it wasn't worth the risk. I ran back home and waited around until it finally came, and after setting it up, it's so wonderful to get to type and surf in a (relatively) ergonomically correct fashion and bask in the crystal-clear, luminous glow of my 20" monitor (while the computer processes everything instantaneously, as opposed to the herky-jerky and precarious chugging along of my old laptop). The only disappointment is that the LCD picture appears to be a bit grainy with a couple of my DVD's (which I understand is a drawback to LCD's relative to CRT's). However, watching DVD's is a very secondary purpose intended for the monitor, so it's not a big deal.

Regardless, I'm happy as a clam right now. I sure I hope this doesn't turn into one of those things that you appreciate immediately, then take for granted and find blase later...

Layers

At a relatively fun department party I attended over the weekend, I got to thinking of how categorizing people into personalities and such (as is my nature to do) can be a complex and confusing process. For example, there's many people in my department with whom I have amiable relationships with and will be happy to occasionally have a pint with, but on a deeper level, I don't respect or like them (note: this sentiment can imply neutrality too, and doesn't necessarily mean there's a negative valence here), and certainly don't want to become close friends with them. So, on one level, I can perceive these people as "okay" and "fun", even though at a deeper level, my sentiments and feelings aren't necessarily totally sunny. I suppose it's kind of like the crazy relative(s) in one's family who are the subject of much chatter behind their backs and derision, although there would never be any thought of excluding or banishing them, as family gatherings are fun with their presence, as well.

Moving inward, I'm beginning to learn that I have great arrogance and coldness in me, at the same time that I can also be insecure and "warmth." I'm smart sometimes and downright moronic at others. I have a long fuse at times and am very patient, and sometimes I think I need extra-strength Ritalin. Sometimes I feel emotionally invulnerable and inured to emotional pain and ebbs and flows, and at others, I feel helplessly weak and swayed by these sorts of emotional matters. I could go on, but I suppose it's all about the contextual interaction effects that catalyze different feelings and notions about oneself (and others, in addition to one's relationship to others - a very Meadian perspective). Perhaps when one doesn't have access to all the facets of their personality and sociability, that's when you start to have pathologies and problems...

YouTube is a Cultural Treasure

...where you can find stuff like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERaBECJY2u0

It's an (in)famous episode of the fantastic 1980's game show Press Your Luck where an unemployed ice cream truck driver spent weeks using his newfangled VCR to rigorously study the electronic patterns used to allocate money on the show. After surmising that the wandering lights followed a pattern, and that two of about thirty squares never contained a fatal Whammy, he managed to get on the show and win over $100K. It's hilarious that everyone on the show is astounded by his "luck" when he manages to not hit a Whammy for over forty rolls (especially because the chances of him hitting a Whammy on any given turn were 1/6). While he did mis-click on a couple of occasions, he was fortunate enough to not hit a Whammy, although with his stockpile of spins, in theory, he could have kept the show going for weeks. Anyhow, it's great that youtube helped unearth this important historical relic, because for a long time CBS was embarrassed by it, and would not air the episode.

Anyhow, the story of the ingenious unemployed man ends sadly on a couple of notes. After he mercifully let the show end, he revealed that he bought his collared shirt for 65 cents at a thrift shop, had to borrow money to make it to L.A. for a chance to play on the show, and didn't have any money to buy his daughter a birthday present (which fortunately changed that day!). It made me incredibly sad to realize that there's people all over who face these emasculating and demoralizing experiences of unemployment and indigence, and that they're supposed to cover up their plight by buying collared shirts. Of course, I guess he put all of his idle time to good use. However, he ended up blowing the money on a real estate swindle and other much less successful get-rich-quick schemes and died running from the Securities Commission, according to Wikipedia. However, if dead people can be comforted by consolation, his 15 minutes of fame have now been immortalized...

Better than Christmas as a Kid...

In a fit of opulence, I decided to buy myself a new computer tonight. I've never owned a computer in my life (I'm currently typing on a seven year-hold hand-me-down laptop that's been on its last legs for years). I went really upscale (at least for a grad student's meager salary) with the monitor and bought a 20" digital LCD monitor, as well. I can't wait to download all of the music and movies I could ever want, and run multiple programs without the computer crashing. Most of all, I hope that my monitor will even make my word processor (I'm going to go cheap and use Open Office, at least at first, thereby avoiding as much Microsoft patronage as possible) look stunningly beautiful, and compel me to fill the screen with text beautified with ClearType (in other words, do lots and lots and lots of work on the dissertation), which is supposed to make text on such screens crystal clear.

The worst part of this is the inevitable waiting for my order to get processed through Dell's bureaucracy, put together and then shipped across the continent from Backwater, Texas. It looks like it'll be about two weeks at the least. Until then, I'm still on the laptop, which is so slow and worn down by now, merely typing makes my computer freeze up briefly after each letter...

Assuages guilt better than renouncing Catholicism...

Since I got back from Christmas and away from family, I've noticed that I feel much calmer and less prone to self-flagellation. Last night, suffering from insomnia (my inability to sleep when I'm supposed to is one of the things I wish I could change about myself, and is normally a source of irritaton), I realized that the reason I feel calmer and more confident is that I decided over Xmas that I don't want to have children. It's a highly abstract concept, because I'm utterly incapable of finding a date, let alone someone interested in procreating with me, but I'm sure that eventually I'll have the chance in life to make such a decision. While I absolutely love children, I saw their effect on my relatives. They were more stressed, gained fat, snapped at each other more (usually over child-related logistical duties) and seemed so unhappy much of the time (let's just say the boxed wine industry is making a killing on these two parents). Part of the reason is that the children in question were inherently fussy and high-strung since they were babies (which was exacerbated later in life by well-meaning, but exhausted and naive parenting), thus they are logistically and emotionally difficult (I've had lots of cousins and nieces and nephews, and thus have a reasonable comparison group). Further, while in the past I'd feel guilty at myself for my penchant for sleeping past noon, buying a bacon cheeseburger in the middle of the day, or going on a multi-hour hike in the middle of the day simply because I feel like it, I always thought in the back of my head "you know, if you're capable of being a responsible parent someday, you can't like or do these things too much, if at all. you should probably start growing up now before it's too late." Without that impending life challenge (however amorphously far away on the horizon), I suddenly don't feel like I'm quite the underachiever that I used to be.

I realize not all kids are as difficult as the ones I spent time with over Xmas (and realize that times for them are often good), and different people and marriages are more inclined or equipped towards having children. Regardless, if I'm already happier without children, and I don't even have them, perhaps that's a bit of a sign to myself...

Not a paid advertisement...

...but this Mach 3 Turbo shaving kit I got for Xmas is incredible. My mother got it for me, as she surmises that my appearance is perpetually slovenly (as most mothers do about their sons). I'd never pay a ton of money for a shaving system complete with batteries and such, but I've finally found something that gives me a close shave, yet babies my uber-sensitive skin, and is the first razor to not give me some sort of noticable rash. Technology and capitalism aren't all bad...

No, this isn't sado-masochism...

...However, I really want/need someone chaining me to a desk and whipping me mercilessly like a racehorse to get me to work on my dissertation. It's not that I don't enjoy the topic I've chosen, but the prospect of typing and grinding away for hours and days, and facing my intellectual shortcomings (and having to do more work to try to overcome/obscure them) is exactly the type of thing that I can procrastinate for another hour, or day, or....

Like a dead artist's work appreciating in value after their death

This article made me think that Saddam Hussein should have been cut some slack, if not also some rope. The puppet government in Iraq (controlled by the U.S., of course) was in a hurry to off Saddam because subsequent trials for his war crimes would have brought to light American complicity and support with Iraqi 'atrocities' in the 1980s. Now, Saddam is obviously a bad man. However, structurally, it would be near impossible for anyone to rule Iraq, or any other of these sorts of countries without being a bad man. Iraq was gerrymandered by the British to include three diametrically opposed ethnic groups (a familiar concept in the Middle East). You have enemies trying constantly trying to off you and control land/resources, so you have to be a sociopath to hold on to power, and your own life. That includes things like killing people who were trying to kill you, which was the crime he was hung for. There are lots of other countries whose leaders who resort to similar tactics. who the US is more than okay with. Sure, he "gassed his own people", but were ethnic Kurds allied with the enemy Iran really "his people"? It's not as if civilian targets have never been brought into war before, however unfortunate as that is.

Anyhow, I'm certainly not losing any sleep over the fact that Saddam is dead and gone, but his demise reminds me of a remark by former Mob Boss John Gotti, which acknowledged that he loved the money, power, women and fame his lofty but precarious status bestowed upon him. However, choosing this career path meant that it would all come to a crashing halt one day. It's simply an occupational hazard of being a despot...

Like an absentee parent wiring money for their kid's birthday

Tonight, Caltech men's basketball snapped a 207 game losing streak in Division III athletics by beating athletic powerhouse Bard College. This scenario is funny on numerous levels beyond the gaudy number of losses involved. First, I have a hunch that Caltech went out of their way to fly Bard out to play this game, because the president mentioned going out of his way to attend the game. Not unlike that time when Oberlin and Swarthmore scheudled each other for football games (as both had massive losing streaks that they couldn't snap in their confernces), Caltech scoured the country looking for someone to beat. Cross-country trips for non-conference games probably don't about in D-3 hoops. Secondly, the article notes that Caltech has won against non-D3 opponents during this streak (the overall winless streak was at a paltry 60). This raises the question of what sub-D3 opponents Caltech was beating. Wellesley? High schools? Middle schools? Midnight basketball teams of homeless people? Further, why did it take 207 straight losses for the university to finally invest in the program to fly out some sacrificial lambs to snap the streak?

It's also funny because Caltech persists in having a horrifically bad basketball team (and I'd conjecture, athletic program). Could being this bad for an athletically prestigious institution be a badge of honor? Does Caltech have athletic boosters that would quit donating to the school if they went the way of Reed College and totally abolished intercollegiate athletics (and instead focuses on intramural sports, which everyone can partake in)? The Reed scenario is significant, because I feel that one could throw institutional theory out as an explanation why Caltech still bothers to have an intercollegiate athletic program. The legitimate form of prestigious, big time universities includes athletic programs of some incarnate. Even if that form is broken and shoddy, it's still important to possess and shine up with a date with a slumpbuster.

Smashed

I'm listening to the Offspring's Smash for the first time in 12 years (I was 14 when I first heard it, and remember being blown away by it). While it's a fun hardcore album, I've also heard a countless other bands that sound pretty much exactly the same (a charge often leveled at, but less accurately at their quasi-punk bretheren Green Day). I remember being absolutely blown away by the album as an adolescent. I suppose it goes to show that the wide-eyed naivete of youth is precious. While it was a harbinger of the neo-punk movement, I don't think Smash or the Offspring have a particularly timeless quality (in constrast to say, Husker Du (or for that matter, the Ramones or Clash), who would have been even cooler if you heard them before Nirvana, Green Day and every other 1990's band that owed a heavy debt to them, yet they still rock today). I'm not sure what the difference between a successful band who ends up being artistically relevant or influential and one that does (and for the purposes of analysis, excise bands like NSYNC, Bush et al.).

Something to think about, if nothing else...

Oh, and after two plus weeks of constant family with its accompanying joys and annoyances, as an introvert, I'm ready to move to one of the sparsely populated counties in Montana that aren't overrun with white supremicists. I'll "forget" my cell phone at home too....