Triumphs of willpower!

After a particularly intense workout today, I went to the cafe to get a delicious protein shake, yet after I left to drink it, I had a hunch that they forgot to put the protein in it. So, since I'm an epicure who is always hungry, I stop by the corner store, still craving something salty and beefy to get my protein fix for my quivering muscles. Sure enough, I find a Slim Jim Beef Steak in no time, and while the nutritional info wasn't on the package, I think I remember seeing a similar product with info on it, and think to myself "actually, I think these only have like 8g of fat, and have lots of protein." Yet, as I approach the cashier, I also remember reading that beef jerky (which in fairness, isn't necessarily the same thing as a "Beef Steak") is just about the most fattening, unhealthy food there is. So, I recoil in horror and put the beef steak down, and run out of the store before I can pay for it and consume it, leaving a hilariously puzzled look on the face of the cashier, who had seen me wait in line for two minutes just to do that.

Even if the product was nutritionally "non-awful", it's still nice to be fighting the war on calorie consumption somewhat successfully!

I hope my credit is good....

Dear Body,

If I promise to keep working-out assiduously for the next six months, can you just get rid of all of the fat I'm still lugging around (painfully when I jog up big hills) and give me an advance on all of the muscle I'm going to build? Life is short, and digging myself out of the physical mess I've brought upon myself is taking too long for my impatient impulses. Thanks!!

Portentous Things

While I was jogging tonight, I kind of got lost and ended up in a quasi-rural arra, where I enjoyed the quaint scenery, which was augmented by a family of deer galloping beside me. Usually when you run into deer, they just look at you sort of perplexed and indifferent, but in this case, these deer were really hauling ass, so to speak. Then, it occurred to me that these deer may have been sprinting away from a predator behind them, and I am a much slower and chubbier alternative to the usual venison meals bears and wildcats usually settle for. Since I am much slower than any of the potential predators involved (and I was already sucking wind from the jog), all I could do was hope that there wasn't a hungry predator lurking behind, because there was no way I could out-run it.

It was a disconcerting 120 seconds or so before the (possibly paranoid) thought was put to rest in my mind....