Recent discouraging events have rendered me a bit lonely (this is not to imply that I've lived like a hermit or have had nothing to do, I just haven't had any contact with anybody I like at a non-superficial level for a while), so I emailed a (female) friend of mine to get together, because we have a really good relationship, and I really want us to be friends. She's always fun to be around, and I think we do a good job of brightening each other's days. Of course, I'm pretty sure she wants more out of me than just a friendship (she responded pretty much immediately with "Wow, I'm so glad you wrote me!", etc.), which is a sentiment I don't think I can reciprocate at this point, if ever. My egalitarian views posit that two people of the opposite sex should be able to interact and enjoy each other's company without sexual tension, and that the lack of romantic interest should be irrelevant to the friendship, and who each person is. While I'm really happy to be seeing her on Tuesday, I'm feeling a bit guilty because everything I suggest that we do (walk/dinner/movie) sounds so "date-like", and I think I might be setting her up for disappointment (and if I do disappoint her, I hope she'll forgive me and still be my friend).
On the other hand, having this looming quasi-relationship is good motivation for me to find someone else that meets my picky standards in a hurry, before I get desperate and date this one, even though my brain, ego and principles tell me it's a bad idea...
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