If only I could be this enamored with everyone I meet....

While I was walking around the neighborhood, waiting for my laundry to finish, I met an eleven-week old Chocolate Labrador puppy. He was so cute that it was jarring to see him as my eyes wandered aimlessly around half-braindead as I was going on my walk. The puppy was teething, so he was chewing on a stick while happily rolling around in the fresh spring grass. He let and his owner let me pet him, and then a whiny Pug came by, and started to cower when the Lab happily pounced on him with his disproportionately big paws.

Anyhow, now I really want a Chocolate Labrador puppy, although like is the case with kids, as much as I'm sure I'd love them, I'm not sure I want them 24/7/365. I'm still scared of big commitments like that. Further, I figure that buying a purebreed is decadent and bourgeois. There are lots of mutts out there in the world that are beautiful as well, and aren't being bred for profit, and are facing euthanasia. Further, mutts are less likely to come with expensive hip surgery bills. Despite all this, I still want a Chocolate Lab now! What is it with me and being unable to resist chocolate, whether it's located in a vending machine, or in the breed of a dog?

More Disconcerting Adventures with Demography and Marketing

Being someone who watches more than his share of ESPN nightly, I've noticed that seemingly second commercial has to do with dating, hair loss or weight loss. These are presumably things that the mostly male population watching ESPN is in urgent need of dealing with. In particular, those Nutri-System commercials with Dan Marino totally crack me up in particular (Sean Salisbury claiming that "chicks dig him"? How dumb do marketers think straight males are?).

It's funny that if these products and services succeed in getting pathetic single men "back in the game", they won't be watching ESPN (particularly on times like Friday and Saturday night) anymore, thus harming ratings. If they work (and that's a big if), ESPN is allowing a trojan horse of sorts to infiltrate it, and possibly take away their most valued clientele.

A random pet peeve

I hate it when you're walking outside, and you're trailing someone smoking a cigarette from anywhere from one to a hundred feet ahead of you, and you can taste and feel the second-hand smoke ravaging your lungs. You either have to run ahead of them, or freeze and wait for them to be at least the length of a football field away. I loathe smoking, and think these people who pollute my air and lungs in my personal space should get the death penalty for it. In a way, they do, but it's a rather delayed death...

Oh, and in an unrelated note, if only all cable access shows turned out to be this hilarious.

The Third Barrel

So, I can't sleep right now, most likely due to the Twix bars I consumed at dinner time tonight (it's unfair that something can something be so good at the time, yet be so bad on a longer time horizon), which got my mind racing about a life lesson I kind of learned playing poker last week.

I was playing my usual tight-conservative style, before picking up JTo in the BB, a few callers enter the pot, and I check, bringing a Q86 rainbow flop, leaving me with a gutshot (any nine that comes on subsequent streets improves my hand to a straight, which likely would win), but not much else, thus rendering my hand fairly weak (I'd guesstimate a 7-to-1 underdog to win at showdown). I check, and then the final caller who was the huge chip leader at the time stabs at the pot with a modest bet. I decide that he's trying to steal the pot (betting with nothing) and then put in a stiff raise and everyone folds (check-raising is usually a fearsome sign of strength in no-limit hold'em), but the initial caller fearlessly calls.

Now, being a conservative-type person in some ways (especially monetary ones), I'm usually inclined to give up in the face of a player unwilling to fold to a stiff check-raise, yet when the turn came a meaningless 3, I had this weird out-of-body experience. I decided I wasn't going to give up and I fired the second barrel, another stiff bet into the pot, which garnered an immediate call much to my chagrin.

Realizing that I've already bet about 60% of my stack in a hand where I had absolutely nothing, undoing the past two hours of careful, disciplined play, I'm in slight shock as the river is an ace. While my mind is stunned that I played so out of my character and best judgment, I also realize that the ace is a good card for me, in that it might scare my opponent into folding. Further, I'm kind of too puzzled by my behavior to be nervous or stop now. So, I fire the third barrel and push in the rest of my chips with jack-high, and much to my amazement, my opponent folds a paired queen, despite the fact that he was getting about 3-to-1 pot odds to make the call on the river, and had a very healthy chip-stack.

So, I showed the bluff, which was a lot of fun (well, not quite as fun as bluffing one of the poker dorks) not to rankle my opponent, but because everybody was so surprised that I had the guts to play like that and it contributed to everyone's entertainment for the night. I ended up winning the tournament (which luck of course played a substantial part in), but it wasn't until last night when I realized how profound that three-barrel bluff was. Although my behavior was like an out of body experience, and I still can't understand what willed me to play in such a manner and why, I also learned that doing something out of my character and narrow rationality worked. Further, my initial action and premise was totally wrong, as I only check-raised because I thought my opponent was stealing (in fact, the opposite was true - he had top pair!), yet it worked out very well in the end.

The moral of the story is that doing something different, stupid and/or risky might just be for the best if you stick with it. One might find rewards and dimensions of your personality that you didn't know existed. Yes, I'm talking vaguely because I'm not sure how I'm going to enact these principles in my "real life" next. I'm working on it, though...

Kids are funnier than adults

At poker night tonight, my friend regaled me with a recent tale of his very adorable mature five-year-old, who is a quintissential first-born in that she already savors responsibility and maturity. After being taught how to make music by blowing into a beer bottle, being bored by the cartoons that was being used to babysit the children at the "grown-ups party", she began to stroll around and tell the adults proudly "look at me! I'm sixteen [an very old "grown-up" age to her] and drinking beer!"

Her two-year-old little sister then chimed in excitedly, "me too!!!"

Their parents were amused, but surprised that they were having to deal with this issue so soon...

A Strange Demographic

In a campus parking lot today, I noticed a peachy-fluorescent orange Subaru pickup truck with grey accents. I have no clue what type of a person would buy such a thing. I'm not a marketing genius, but I do know that most American pickup truck buyers don't opt for foreign-made trucks in such absurdly sissy colors.

My New Best Friend?

A friend of mine was kind enough to overlook the most recent draft of a paper that's gone through the review process a few times, and gave me very positive feedback (which I think was sincere, as I think he would have protected me if I had written garbage), and said "You were writing really clearly at the end. I can tell you were pissed off at those reviewers and wanted to shove it down their throats." I'm not sure if "pissed off" is the right word, but I did feel "frantically antagonistic" towards the sentiment that the article might not be published and my sunk cost would be wasted just because of a prickly (and in my opinion, unfair) reviewer.

In a somewhat related development, a couple of colleagues have started acting slightly frosty towards me lately, which is strange, given that I always had a good rapport with them before and used to have great relationships with them both. As I was hoping to access a pittance of social capital via one of them, I figured I'd check to see if things were okay before asking. I did some discreet digging and found out that they're closing ranks in their feminine passive-aggressive manner around the infamous stupid cunt that is the one person on Earth I harbor negative sentiments towards. The whole thing upset me because I basically act like Ned Flanders (well, a less religious and more introverted one) around everybody and go out of my way to be polite and respectful of everyone (I'm a first-born, I want everybody to like me!) and in the one situation that I choose to stick up for myself, I take flak for it (while the stupid cunt gets protected despite being selfish and vapid, even by the admission of the two women being frosty to me).

Anyhow, I am somewhat angry about this, both because I think it's unfair, and I can't fathom how these women can actually believe I'm a bad person all of a sudden. However, it's a good anger, because it's localized and not all that intense. Thus, it is perfect for sublimating into more productive and happy endeavors. Tomorrow, I begin taking it out on my ideas and writing. I have a hunch this will fuel some productive and innovative thinking. The happy-go-lucky-lefty-collectivist sociologist has now been joined by the ruthless, competitive beast that lurks within me. I'll see how long the beast wants to come out and play.

OMG!!!

The simulcast of the women's NCAA basketball championship on ESPN2 is the weirdest thing I've seen on TV in ages. While you get the "traditional" coverage on ESPN, ESPN2 has a screen split six different ways (in addition to a score-ticker). One screen covers about 55% of the screen and gives you the typical camera angle for a sporting event. Meanwhile, four screens which are about 10% fo the screen each remain fixated on the coaches for each team, and the star player on each team. The remaining space goes alternates between showing statistics and instant replays. Accordingly, the viewer is bombarded with six moving screens at once, usually containing different stimuli. Perhaps I'm a bit set in my ways, and I'm too old to be a part of the ADD-ridden technology-obsessed Millennial generation, but I can't help but to think this is another one of those instances where something innovative isn't necessarily a good idea (also see: those silly glowing pucks FOX came up with for the NHL in the 1990s).

Cuteness Overload.

...If it wasn't for the fact that they grow to be over 2,000 pounds and summers would probably be brutal, polar bears would be an excellent candidate for a new species to domesticate!

No, I'm not hooked, but maybe these are gateway drugs

While my nasty cough has subsided, it hasn't gone away entirely. However, as I type away in a slightly high and dizzy state right now, I'm thinking about how much I'm going to miss taking NyQuil* before bed. It makes me so perfectly sleepy and cozy, I always end up getting a good night's sleep, despite my propensity to cough and toss and turn. As someone who has struggled with insomnia my entire life, finding a reliable sleep aide is a big deal.

*After plunking down way too much money on cough syrup and other remedies, I noticed that the generic DayQuil and NyQuil were ~60% less expensive than their name-brand counterparts (so I'm not technically taking NyQuil). [sarcasm] I, of course, am shocked that the U.S. pharmaceutical industry would gouge the sick and suffering [/sarcasm].

Actually Useful Research from Academia

Current drug laws are 'arbitrary' in nature and the typically condoned vices of alcohol and tobacco are among the most harmful. I kind of knew this already, but I found it especially jarring to read that tobacco is responsible for 40% of hospital visits and alcohol is responsible for almost half of emergency room visits. Meanwhile, acid and E users just stare up at the pretty colors...

Cough abatement is a lousy hobby

I've come down with a nasty cough that I can't seem to shake. Although I recently finally managed to get my circadian rhythm aligned in a somewhat normal fashion (even despite the daylight savings switch), it's been ruined by a couple of awful nights tossing and turning in bed and coughing. The only thing that seems to quell the coughing is going to sleep with a Halls in my mouth. However, Halls are full of sugar, and I can feel them corroding my teeth, and thus it's not something I want in bed all night. Further, I'm paranoid that I'm going to choke on one as if I'm fortunate enough fall asleep. I've also tried the sugar-free Ricola, but they have no real "bite" as medicine. I wasn't planning on being sick for a while, but I might have to become a connoisseur of the cough-losenge inudstry in the near future. I'm looking for something uber-potent, yet sugar free...

In the last four hours I've chugged half a bottle of Robitussin and Robitussin Nighttime respectively (which would make for an entire bottle in total), in addition to four DayQuils and Four NyQuils (on opposite poles of the four hours of course), yet I'm still coughing. This cough is annoying enough that I''m resolving to become Howard Hughes-esque in my germ prevention in the near future, so I don't get sick ever again. On the bright side, I just began to feel a nice high from the cough syrup....

Hmmmm

Had a fun night watching NCAA tournament games with a couple friends. Amid the chit-chat, I started to gripe that China got the 2008 Olympics, despite its record of human rights abuses, and general awfulness. My friend responded "yeah, I guess you're right, but as an American, I really feel hypocritical calling anybody out on moral issues, given the things we're doing all over the world right now." It's a shame, but he has a point....

Worse than having your fly open in public, but less conspicious

So, I was walking home today, and noticed what felt like my sock becoming "extra raggedy." I look down to investigate, and I notice a pair of boxer shorts in the pant leg. Apparently, after I took my jeans out, I managed to put them on without noticing my boxer shorts becoming wedged against my sock and leg. I guess this happened with stuff mixing up with static electricity in my laundry hamper, and persisted because I have horrible sensory abilities and don't notice these things until it's too late. While this incident was funny and innocuous, I do worry that these sorts of faux pas might occur in a more sensitive/problematic scenario some day.

Is Stupid Advertising False Advertising?

The latest Gatorade commercial tries to entrench the profoundly embedded history of the product in athletic culture. It emphasizes that the product was synthesized because the Florida Gators' performance was suffering because they were dehydrated in the Florida heat. While that is true, aren't the teams that were beating Florida at the time playing under those conditions as well? It's not as if they got to play in a climate-controlled dome while the Florida players wilted...